I’m a big fan of romantic comedies. One of the most common themes in these types of movies is the idea of “you complete me.”
That’s nice to hear, but it’s also very damaging if you believe that. The truth is, you cannot wait for others to complete you. But that’s your job.
People talk a good game. They say they can’t live without you, you complete them, you make great music together, but at the end of the day, they have enough problems of their own.
Depending on others to complete you leaves you incomplete and dependent.
You’re like a lock and you’re waiting for a key.
Well, it would be great if the key would appear tomorrow.
What if it doesn’t?
Are you going to spend the rest of your life waiting for that key?
You shouldn’t. You have to take matters into your own hands.
And the worst thing about waiting for others to complete you is the fact that you begin to resent them. You start blaming them for what’s wrong or what’s missing in your life because, after all, they complete you.
You heap all sorts of obligations on them because they complete you. This is a cruel joke that you play on yourself.
The truth is, others cannot give you meaning or true validation.
That’s your job.
You know who can fully understand you?
Yourself. Start there.
Waiting for Others’ Acceptance is Irresponsible
If you’re waiting around for the right person to complete you, unlock your full potential, inspire you to greatness, the whole nine yards, you’re just being irresponsible. You really are.
Why? You’re making excuses for your failures. That’s what you’re doing.
You’re giving yourself all sorts of nice sounding excuses for not rolling up your sleeves and taking care of what you need to handle right here, right now.
You’re making excuses for the fact that you’re not trying hard enough, you’re not experimenting enough, or you’re not taking enough risks.
Whatever the case may be, waiting around for others’ acceptance gives you an out.
Even if Others “Accept” You, You Only Find People to Blame
The only thing that you’re gaining, really, when you wait for others’ acceptance is for people to blame. Since they accepted you and you failed, you can blame them for letting you down. They did not fully understand you. They did not live up to their end of the bargain.
They did not inspire you enough, they did not push you enough, they did not challenge you enough. The list is endless. Worst of all, you can blame them for not fully trying to “understand” you.
I’m sorry, but people are not mind readers. How can you expect people to fully accept you when you don’t even fully know yourself? Because if you fully knew yourself, you would know that this is a dead end.
You cannot wait for others to complete you or accept you for who you are.
You have to do that.
The answer is simple: ‘step up’. That’s all you need to do.
That’s right, you are responsible for your life. Only you can know yourself fully. Use this information to accept yourself, warts and all.
There will always be rough spots. There will always be problem areas, but you have to accept yourself and position yourself for better things. Nobody can do this except you.
This is the essence of responsibility. You have to be complete when the right one comes along.
It doesn’t work the other way around. They won’t show up and complete you, and that’s how you know that they are “right for you.” Life doesn’t work that way.
Part -2 Joy of Being Imperfect – Work on Self Respect which leads to Self-Love?”
Part-3 Joy of Being Imperfect – Letting go of Harmful Perfection
Part-4 Joy of Being Imperfect – Bravely Acknowledging your Flaws
Part-5 Joy of Being Imperfect – Quit Apologizing for your Flaws
Part-6 Joy of Being Imperfect – Making your Flaws an Asset
Part-7 Finale Joy of Being Imperfect – Learning to Move on