One of the first things that you could do in dealing with your flaws is to turn them into assets. There’s really no such thing as an irredeemable trait.
For example, if you have a tough time telling the truth, then you’re a great storyteller. Run with it. Of course, you’re going to tell people that you’re engaged in fiction.
Maybe you can be a good writer, presenter, narrator, or even a brainstorm specialist. Since you’re good at inventing things, why not put many different concepts together and figure out what you come up with?
It may well lead to better products, better marketing strategies, and better product positioning.
If you have bug eyes, please understand that some people are very drawn to people with big eyes.
There are certain fashion accessories that make big eyes look very attractive. If you have a big head, the same analysis goes.
The truth is, there is no such thing as an irredeemable trait. There’s nothing that makes you irredeemably ugly and worthy of only rejection. To turn your flaws into assets, you only need to look at the root.
Look to the root
What is the root of your flaw?
Is it your personality?
Is it how you define things?
Is it how you react to things or is it a physical thing?
Once you’ve identified it, ask yourself, “Can it be converted?”
For example, if you tend to lie a lot or exaggerate things, maybe you can be a great storyteller. Maybe you can be an idea person that comes up with weird or unexpected connections between ideas or concepts.
If you have big eyes, can they be converted into assets? I don’t know about you, but one of the most attractive women I’ve ever known actually had big eyes.
Next, you could ask yourself when you look at the root of the flaw, can it be redirected? Can it be combined with other things to produce something positive?
If you are a very disruptive person, you’re always looking for division. You might find yourself in a situation where that kind of skill is not only viewed positively but is actually in-demand.
For example, you can be a great litigator. Since you’re always looking for division, you’re always looking for the other side of the argument. You’re always looking to poke holes in people’s stories.
Now, in most normal relationships, that can get quite annoying very quickly. That can cause a lot of fights and hurt feelings. However, in a courtroom, that can be a good thing. You see where I’m coming from? See if you can redirect the flaw.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Change your mental habits
A lot of our emotional and psychological flaws really boil down to how we interpret the world. These interpretation issues come out of habit.
A habit is something that you keep doing once you detect some sort of trigger or cue because it leads you to a reward.
- For example, if you’re a smoker, chances are one of your triggers is eating. When you feel full after a meal, you smoke because you get that nice, mellow rush.
- For example, if you say things you later regret, ask yourself if this is a lack of tact you learned from your family, or if it is your reaction to awkward situations.
- If you spend too much money, ask yourself what triggers these incidents, how you first started spending money, and what you hope for when you are spending.
- Maybe you feel that you are too emotional. Reframe this thought to remind yourself that your emotionality is the reason why you have strong empathy skills to comfort others during hard times, and why people seek you out for care and assistance.
The more you can understand these past behaviors.
Positive reframing will not change these qualities, but it can give you a healthy change in perspective that will help you accept yourself.
Re-frame How you view Self-improvement.
When there is something you want to work on, you are not eliminating or hiding a flaw of yours; rather, you are learning new skills.
Instead of “I’m going to stop talking so much,” tell yourself “I’m going to learn how to listen better.”
Instead of “I’m going to stop being so judgmental,” try “I’m going to work harder on understanding and accepting perspectives and lifestyles different from my own.”
Instead of “I’m going to lose weight,” try “I’m going to work on taking better care of my body by exercising more, eating better, and reducing stress.”
Part -1 Joy of Being Imperfect If you don’t accept yourself who will?
Part -2 Joy of Being Imperfect – Work on Self Respect which leads to Self-Love?”
Part-3 Joy of Being Imperfect – Letting go of Harmful Perfection
Part-4 Joy of Being Imperfect – Bravely Acknowledging your Flaws
Part-5 Joy of Being Imperfect – Quit Apologizing for your Flaws
Part-7 Finale Joy of Being Imperfect – Learning to Move on